"Whatever good, (O man!) happens to thee, is from Allah; but whatever evil happens to thee, is from thy (own) soul. and We have sent thee as a messenger to (instruct) mankind. And enough is Allah for a witness." - Yusuf Ali translation of Qur'ân, 4:79)

Part 1

"If there is anything that works against the vanity of the ego, it is love. The nature of love is to surrender. The world of variety, which has divided life into limited parts, naturally causes every lesser one to surrender to the greater. And, again, for every greater one there is another still greater in relation to whom he is smaller, and for every smaller one there is another still smaller, in relation to whom he is greater. And as every soul is by its nature compelled to surrender to perfection in all its grades, the only thing that matters is whether it be a willing surrender or an unwilling surrender. The former comes by love, the latter is made through helplessness, which makes life wretched. It moves the Sufi when he reads in the Qur'ân that the perfect Being asked the imperfect souls, the children of Adam, Who is thy Lord? They, conscious of their imperfections, said humbly, Thou art our Lord. Surrender is a curse when, with coldness and helplessness, one is forced to surrender. But the same becomes the greatest joy when it is made with love and all willingness." - Hazrat Inayat Khan, Volume 5, Part 4.

I have found that when I talk about surrender, there are many who feel uncomfortable with the notion of surrendering and equate it with giving up or with being lazy. There is a fine balance between lacking initiative and acting while surrendering and it is an art that we could well learn to help us heal ourselves and others!

I have often seen much misery caused by thinking that we are in charge and we need to do things, I have seen people become wretched and fall ill because they feel that they have so much to do and could not cope. The situation is difficult they say, they are unfortunate they say, they have so much to do and ends cannot meet. There is a tool I use to try and help them with their sufferings and, it is a tool I myself use daily in the form of a prayer that becomes a continuous reminder to me who is really in charge.

Here is a case I had some months ago. A lady who did not earn a salary but did a lot of volunteer work while at the same time taking care of her children and managing the home began to have a repeat of migraine headaches she had been having earlier but which had resolved. The feelings she expressed was her sense of responsibility over what she wanted to do, her fear of not doing enough and her fear of neglecting her household duties. She was quite familiar with the way I worked so sat with me while I held her hands and guided her to look within herself. Let us pretend to be the patient for a moment and do this exercise with me, just like what I did with her.

First think of your own insurmountable problems, watch your body as it reacts to your thinking of your problems. Now, together we will go into our heart space the way Himayat has taught us. You focus first on the space of your physical heart, just above your left breast, start observing your breathing and as the breath moves in and out, imagine it gently caressing this spot and until the spot starts to expand and become warm.......... next focus on the spot exactly opposite to this in the right breast, focus on this spot, and watch your breath caressing this spot . Do this until you get a response here. The first center I mentioned is the latifah Qalb and the one opposite to it is the Latifah Haq, next focus on the center of the breast, the center of the sternum , the Latifah Sirriya. Focus on the spot and caress it gently with your breath. It may help to imagine the spot as a piece of wax that starts to melt with the warmth of your breath. The melting wax expands and warms the spot. Next you focus your breath towards your diaphragm or solar plexus, and this is the latifah nafs, By now you should be feeling your heart space. While you are doing this, you may want to add this prayer that I teach my patients. It is a simple one and it is part of the prayer that is written in the Qur'ân that Moses said it when he was to meet the Pharaoh. It goes like this: "Lord, expand my breast !" (Sura 20, Verse 25) Continue to watch your breath! Now you continue with the Moses prayer, "And ease my task for me" ( Sura 20, Verse 26). And when you have said this once, you watch your breath and observe what happens to your heart space. Keep repeating these two verses of the Moses prayer with pauses in between while you observe your own being and perhaps you can share with me what you experience while doing this exercise.

Part 2
Someone told me at one time and I forget who even but I was told that this nursery rhyme is pretty much life in short. I sang it when I was in nursery school, those days in Malaysia we were still having the English school system, and I learned a whole lot of English nursery rhymes. On looking back , I realize that most of them were pretty violent stuff, like rocking the baby and then the wind blowing and the baby falling off the treetop and then the old man who could not say his prayers being thrown down the stairs and not forgetting the blackbird who pecked off the nose of the maid! So, one of the few nursery rhyme that was sweet and gentle went like this:

Row , row , row your boat gently down the stream, merrily, merrily , merrily, Life is but a dream!

Hazrat Inayat Khan has said quite a lot about this going down the stream, which is acting according to God's will:

"…we come to understand that there are two aspects of will working through all things in life. One is the individual will, the other the divine will. When a person goes against the divine will, naturally his human will fails and he finds difficulties, because he is swimming against the tide. The moment a person works in consonance, in harmony with the divine will, things become smooth." HIK Volume 14, Part 6-10

This is what I understand by surrendering to the Divine will and accepting what has come to pass as well as understanding that perhaps what is wanted of us is not what we think we need to do and most of all, that things do not need to work according to our expectations but that whatever happens, would happen for the best if we always keep in our minds our attitude of surrender and acceptance of what comes to pass. I would like to share with you another set of verses that I read everyday. It was given to me by Pir Zia as a daily practice for me and it is also some verses from the Qur'ân. When I first learned it, I kept pondering on the meaning, and I found the meaning of it unfolding itself to me so much so that increasingly I realized how magical this set of verses is!

"For those who are mindful of God, God will prepare a way out of his difficulties, and will provide for him from unexpected sources. God suffices those who trust in Him/Her. For God will surely accomplish his/her purpose; verily for all things has God appointed a due proportion." Qur'ân, Sura 65, Verses 2-3

For me what this means is to let go of trying to be in charge and to realize things are planned for us and that we simply fall in with the plan. When things seem to go wrong, it is merely because we are having expectations of how things should turn out, our feelings get hurt, and we feel disappointed because we have expectations of how things ought to be. A lot of stress comes from being disappointed with outcome and also from wanting things to be different from what they turn out to be. Our limited vision cannot possibly see all sides of the problem.

I remember an old friend who was also my patient but had gone to stay in another state, decided she needed very much to come and see me because she was losing weight and lacking sleep for the past months and had been put on a whole lot of anxiolitics. Her problem started when she adopted a baby. She had been married for more than 6 years, was still childless, and finally managed to adopt a beautiful baby. Indeed, she loved the baby so much she became extremely anxious and could relax even when she was sleeping. The least movement from the baby would wake her up and increasingly she became sleepless and started to lose weight. We went through the heart space exercise together and then we repeated the verses I have written above, and I asked her what she understood by it's meaning. It was not long before she started crying and heaving huge sighs and surrendering her will , realizing who was really in charge , not her, but God. It was only by surrendering that she could enjoy the baby, minus the anxieties.

For this class, we will do this practice as a zikr. The zikr is:
God suffices for me, There is no will , No strength but God's

There is a longer version and the version in Arabic but, I will not trouble you with it unless you would like to learn it. I will simply write it here for interest sake:
Hasbee Allahu ( God Suffices) La illaha illa huwa (There is no god but God) Alaihi Tawakaltu ( To him/her I put my faith) Wa La Khaula ( There is no will) Wa La Quwwata ( And no strength) Illa Billah ( except with God)

At the end of this zikr, which you can repeat any number of times, 5 or 11 or 33 times, take a deep breath and as you breathe out, surrender your breath into the earth, the sky , into the whole cosmos as you relax your entire body in a state of surrender to God.

Part 3

"Blessed are the innocent who believe and trust." Gayan - Suras - HIK

So, what does happen when we surrender and let go? We let go our anxieties over what is happening, over things we are supposed to be doing that are not getting done, over money that is not enough, over spouses, partners , children , parents and friends who are not what they ought to be? We understand that things are what they are and that is what they are right now. At the same time , the surrendering brings into play new ways of seeing things, without the preset patterns of anxiety , tension, and expectations that we have grown accustomed to and have formed part and parcel of our behavior pattern. The letting go releases our energies from the trap of getting tired and stressed because of the worrying and we find creative ways of using the energy that works to overcome the problems.

How do we distinguish an active dynamic surrendering from that of a passive apathy that comes of not doing anything about our situation of being trapped in a situation and of being powerless to change it? Or what if we misunderstood surrender and we thought all we needed was to surrender but we did not have any initiative.

There is a famous story in the Prophet Muhammad's time when a companion rushed in to see him and the Prophet asked, what have you done with your camel. And the companion replied that he had left his camel outside and trusted it to God and the Prophet (peace be upon) him replied, "First you tie your camel and then trust in God!"

Hazrat Inayat Khan has this to say about resignation and surrender:
"No doubt, everything must be understood rightly. Resignation preached foolishly is of no benefit. There was a murid who learned from a Murshid the lesson of resignation, and thinking on this subject the simple murid was walking in the middle of the road when a mad elephant came from the other side. As he was walking in the thought of resignation, he stayed in the middle of the road. A wise man told him to go out of the way, but he would not do so, because he was resigned to the elephant, until he was pushed away by its strength. They brought him to his Murshid who asked him how he came to be hurt so much. He answered that he was practicing resignation. The Murshid said, 'Was there not somebody who told you to go away?' 'Yes,' he answered, 'but I would not listen.' 'But,' said the Murshid, 'why did you not resign yourself to that person?' often beautiful principles can be practiced to the greatest disadvantage. Nevertheless, resignation has proved to be the path of saints, because it develops patience in man. And what is patience? It is all the treasure there is. Nothing is more valuable, nothing is a greater bliss than patience." HIK, Vol.ume 7, Part 2, Chapter 2

I had a patient who had been in a very serious accident and she was in a coma for 2 days. When she regained consciousness, she could not remember anything about the accident and it was a very long time before she could react to people. The only damage she sustained was to some nerves associated with her hearing and this had made her deaf in one ear. She was extremely depressed and I asked her what would make her happy. And she said, "I will be happy when my hearing returns to normal. I have asked God to make me well by this date," and she gave a date a month in the future. I had told her, you can be happy now and I asked her, what if you do not get well by the date you have set for you to get well. What I was trying to tell her was to accept her condition and be happy in spite of it while she could still remain hopeful of a cure! She had refused to accept what had happened and the possibility of her hearing remaining impaired. What does the refusal do to her? It is my opinion that accepting her condition would make a better case for overcoming it than the attitude that she had. I could see that her expectation of getting well within a month could be a further cause of misery to her and, it is expectation that causes a lot of our worries leading to tension , aches and pains and illness!

Here is another story that Hazrat Inayat Khan relates , I believe it is about Job (on whom be peace):
"There is a story about a prophet who was very ill. He suffered many years, and through his suffering his insight became clearer. His suffering was so great that those around him became tired of it and so, in order to relieve them from seeing his pain, he had to seek refuge with God in the forest. As his sight was keen and the ears of his heart were open, he heard from the trees, 'I am the medicine of your disease.' The prophet asked, 'Has the time of my cure come?' A voice answered: 'No.' So he said, 'Why shall I take you then?' Another time he had this experience again; he heard, 'I am the medicine of your disease,' and asked, 'Has the time of my cure come?' 'Yes.' The prophet said, 'Why shall I take you then?'
When we think of this extreme ideal we may ask: is it not unpractical, especially at this time where there are so many treatments, so many mechanical means? But a thoughtful person will see how many people have ruined their lives by going from one treatment to another, lacking the patience and resignation in which resides their absolute cure. The remedy is not always the answer. It seems as if man becomes increasingly impatient every day owing to his superficial life; there is hardly any resignation to little things. Yet, it is better to resign than to struggle." - HIK, Volume 7, Part 2, Chapter 2

I have often wondered at this story and the total submission to God that Job had. Stories like this makes me able to bear my own aches and pains and to surrender my pains to God. I myself have suffered from a chronic condition that made my body ache very badly at times and I have found that , when I have a day that I am truly feeling well, it becomes a very joyful time while the other times, I have come to accept the aches and pains as part of my self. When I had at times questioned the reasons for my not enjoying a totally vibrant health , I had at the same time answered my own questions by saying that if I had been totally healthy , I would not understand pain and would be less sympathetic and not much of a healer.

Hazrat Inayat Khan's narrative ends with this paragraph which I found too beautiful not to share:
"When we throw a mystic light upon this subject we find that we form a harmonious connection with the Infinite by being resigned. How to learn it? Should we learn it by being resigned to God? No, that is a still greater lesson to learn. The first thing to learn is to be resigned to the little difficulties in life. What does this mean? It means not to strike out at everything that comes in our way. If one were able to manage this, one would not need to cultivate great power; then one’s presence would be healing. Such a person is in the world more precious than a branch of the rose, which may have many thorns and hardly one flower."

Practice:
For this class, we will do this practice:
1.Write down about a situation you find unbearable and state all your grouses about the situation or person.
2. Write down what you would like to see happening and your expectations of the situation or person
3.Read what you have written and then now write down the reality of the situation as compared with your expectation of the situation.
4.Ask yourself what would you be if you did not have those thoughts that you had in 1 and the expectations that you had in 2.
5. surrender yourself to the situation and see how you can change or make a difference rather than expect the situation or person to change. Be present to your feelings and emotions at this point, stay with them, and observe the transformation.
(adapted from Katie Byron's The Work)

Part 4

"Whatever by divine destiny becomes lost to you, know for sure it has saved you from difficulty. Someone once asked, "What is Sufism?" The Shaykh replied, "To feel joy in the heart at the coming of sorrow." Regard His chastisement as the eagle which carried off the Prophet's boot, that she might save his foot from the serpent's bite. O happy is the understanding that is not dusty and dim. God has said, Grieve not for that which escapes you,* if the wolf comes and destroys your sheep, for that God-sent affliction keeps away greater afflictions, and that loss prevents much greater losses." - Mathnawi III: 3260-3265 Version by Camille and Kabir Helminski Rumi: Jewels of Remembrance Threshold Books, 1996

I had a patient a long time ago, in 1886 who suffered from grief. She was diabetic and she came to me to treat this as well as another condition brought on by grief. Robbers had come in the night and they had taken away all of her gold jewelry. She was a rich woman and had a lot of jewelry but being from the village never thought of putting it in the bank. She had been crying the whole week but that was only the beginning. I saw this woman over many years, and, she never stopped grieving for the gold. I failed to treat her with anxiolitics, with homeopathics and with my words so she continued to mourn her loss and she continued to cry every day. After a few years her eyesight deteriorated and she later became blind. Her whole behavior got worse and worse starting from the time her gold was stolen. She died last year. It was a terrible death, she had been bed ridden for many months, and she had lost her reason as well as her hearing along with her eyesight. She called and called all day and all night for her daughters to be with her, to massage her, to rub her head and to feed her. All her children were at their wit's end . At night she screamed as if she had been beaten. I had to give her sedation so that her family could rest. When she finally died, it was a relief for everyone.

I suppose if I had been armed with the tools I have now, way back when I first saw this lady, I may have been able to show her that surrendering to the loss of her jewelry would save her from ruining her life and making the rest of the family 's life miserable. I would have done what I do now for those in pain, I would ask them to look at their pain and acknowledge their pain and then, surrender their pain to God.

I have recently attended a course on how to handle recovering heroin addicts and was introduced to the 12 steps to recovery. It did not surprise me when the first step was to acknowledge helplessness and the second step was to surrender to a higher power. How often I found myself in an intolerable situation with no way out and I turn to the verses that I shared with you:

"For those who are mindful of God, God will prepare a way out of his difficulties, and will provide for him from unexpected sources. God suffices those who trust in Him/Her. For God will surely accomplish his/her purpose; verily for all things has God appointed a due proportion." - Qur'ân, Sura 65, Verses 2-3

The other day a patient of mine, a woman came in with a syncopal attack. She fainted for no reason and without warning. It was during my regular clinic hours and I did not have too much time to go deep into the case but something about her made me ask her if there is anything she wanted to share with me. And she showed me scars on her arms and along the right side of her body, she got them 2 years ago , when she fainted just after boiling a pot of soup and the soup fell onto her body. She told me she had been in pain since, the scars were very painful and hurt all the time, all day and all night. I wondered at this, I knew there was such a condition of painful scars but it seemed to me there was a lot more to the pain that did not have to do with the scars. So I asked her if I could help her with a bit of healing and if she would do a simple exercise with me. And, we did the heart space exercise together. I told her to focus on her chest, imagine a piece of wax shaped like a heart, and imagine it expanding and spreading through out her chest with every breath. This is a short cut exercise that I use when I do not have much time. Then I told her to look at the pain she was having and acknowledge the pain. I asked her to say a simple prayer telling God how much she was suffering and then I asked her to think of all the blessings in her life, which she did. Then once again we looked at her pain through our hearts and again surrendered this pain to God. She was surprised and relieved to find the pain had lessened.

Here I have a modified version of this exercise that addresses our unmet needs and I present it as our last exercise for this class. This next exercise is one that I've needed to do and have been trying my best to do in the face of the numbness that often plagues me from having unmet needs that should not be suppressed:

Write down a need you have that is not being fulfilled. Go into your heart space in the way that you are used to or as I have written in our first class. From this Domain, Feel yourself have the need, and feel the pain of not having it fulfilled. For me, this resulted in an unfreezing, the numbed dullness left and I felt instead a raw hurt. Recall all the needs that you had that were fulfilled in many different ways, acknowledge these, and be grateful for them. Let this remembrance and gratefulness blossom into a hope for this present need to be similarly addressed and fulfilled, make a prayer to God , telling God of your need . Feel the warm glow of trust and certainty replace the raw wound of the unmet need.
I leave you now to reflect on this very short Sura that was sent to the Prophet at a time of great sorrow for him , sorrow from a yearning to hear from God, for he was for a long time without any message from God, it was perhaps a verse sent at the end of his Dark Night.

"Have We not expanded thee thy breast?- And eased thee of the burden Which weighed down thy back; And exalted thy fame ? But lo! with hardship goeth ease, Lo! with hardship goeth ease; So when thou art relieved, still toil." The Expansion ( Al Sharh), Picthall - Al Qur'ân :94